Change
Do you ever find yourself in a rut…doing the same things over and over again? At the same time wanting to feel different or maybe be in a different place in your life yet it feels daunting and impossible to get there. Maybe you don’t even know where “there” is or what you want to feel but you are sick and tired of where you are at right now. I know that I am quite familiar with being in that sort of a funk. Maybe this is why so many people put pressure on themselves at the start of each New Year with the hope that this will be “my year” and the belief that when I start all these resolutions on Jan 1 it’s all going to be better. Reality is quite different than that. Changing how we think, feel, behave and live often comes from simple, small choices that we make not just once a year but daily, hourly, moment by moment. It’s much less glamorous or exciting or quick than we tend to think it is. I know how much I love the classic movie scene where music starts and there is a montage of a makeover, career change, starting a new relationship or getting over a breakup…It’s absolutely magical and exhilarating to watch the character that we have been routing for completely evolve multiple aspects of their lives in less than a minute. I mean, come on, who doesn’t want that? Here’s the thing: there is magic and beauty in the small, simple steps it takes to get from where you are right now to where you want to be. Maybe the greatest thing each of us can do to get out of that stuck feeling is to change our perspective and narrative regarding the journey.
I love the quote from Aristotle, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” To me this means that we are not defined by one act or choice or feeling or situation; instead, at any given moment we can “do" it differently. Maybe you stayed up way too late on your phone, kept hitting snooze, yelled at your kids to hurry up, grabbed a chocolate bar for breakfast, were exhausted, late and irritated all morning at work and started thinking of all the ways things are going wrong and start to tell yourself “today is just ruined”. Instead, at any given moment, you have the option to pause, take a breath and do one small thing differently. Pick something small such as taking a 2 minute break to walk outside at work, or smile at someone you pass in the hall, text a friend or loved one a quick note of appreciation, or maybe sit in your car and blast a favorite song on high volume. This is where you can gain momentum and reclaim some energy. When we actively decide to respond or behave in a positive way, it gives a sense of empowerment and control over one’s life. And when you repeatedly begin to do this as a new habit, in time you will feel differently and your life will change. There is research in the field of positive psychology to back this up. Shawn Achor, author of “The Happiness Advantage” illustrates how practicing 2 minute positive habits such as journaling, gratitude, mindfulness and exercise for 21 days increases happiness, optimism and in turn success.
Instead of trying to make big drastic changes or looking at your never-ending To Do lists, let’s create a list of 10 small and simple habits that you can pick from when you feel stuck, overwhelmed or defeated. This year, rather than creating New Year’s Resolutions or goals, I created my list of quick go to “Healthy Happy Habits” and I have added to it as I find new ways to “Reset, Recharge and Refocus” my day. Try it, what do you have to lose? Here are my original 10 if you need some ideas:
Healthy Happy Habits:
Write down three things I am grateful for today
Take the dogs for a walk to get the mail
Drink a glass of water
Go outside and watch/appreciate the white fluffy clouds in the blue Arizona sky for 2 minutes
Text a friend something I like or appreciate about them
Do a breathing exercise on my phone app
Write an affirmation or quote on a sticky note and put It somewhere I will see it all day long
Do a random act of kindness
Journal a positive experience
Listen to an upbeat favorite song